Cris Carter is to Yahoo as The Champ is to This Blog?

How come someone didn’t happen to put me on the information that Cris Carter was writing columns for Yahoo? Is he living with Mr. Yahoo? I know we give The Champ a column each week to make bold predictions, but that’s just so he doesn’t kill me in my sleep (or steal my laptop and start typing). Does Yahoo really need name value that much that they haven’t pulled the plug on Carter’s columns yet?

Should I really ask that question when ESPN has Sean Salisbury and Mike Golic? Former NFL player goes way too far on a resume with these media entities that cover football. I’ve only read three of these Cris Carter columns and already I’m wishing he took Troy Vincent’s yearly NFL Player’s Association seminars about how the players can invest their money wisely. Carter can’t find a car dealership to run? Maybe invest in some hot properties?

Carter’s words are bolded. Go to Yahoo and then sports to find his columns. If you can’t find his columns without a direct link, leave the internet.

If it is all he does, then it’s unfortunate (for us) that Carter can’t catch touchdowns while writing on the Internet…

1. He’s back
Donovan McNabb‘s performance for the Philadelphia Eagles against Houston was a breath of fresh air given all of the controversy he went through last year. He was able to put the injuries and Terrell Owens stuff behind him and just play football.

Well, Yeah, for starters, it’s ONE game and Owens did OK for half a season and a Super Bowl with Philly…following that, well, the sports hernia might have also played a part in McNabb not breathing that fresh air…

Look at the supporting cast. They have money tied up in Peyton, Reggie Wayne and Marvin Harrison, and now they have to get a deal done with Dwight Freeney. You can lock him up to only so much. And after him, you don’t have a lot of room to maneuver. Given their poor stadium situation and the lack of revenue streams, the Colts are limited. Other teams have an advantage and Peyton will feel the effect of being on a small-market team.

However, I think this is the season they finally get to the Super Bowl. I like Dominic Rhodes as a running back and with the way that he can run, he can get 1,200 yards in that offense. With that offense, that’s all you need from the running game. Indy has an offense that no one can match up with week to week.

But if Peyton doesn’t get it done this season, it’s not happening.

Ummm, so locking up your skill position players for long term is going to present salary cap issues? Most teams in the NFL wish they had a core of Manning, Harrison and Wayne locked up and ready to play together for the long term. Why? Because those are salary cap issues teams enjoy having as they give you the flexibilility to go out and get things done elsewhere.

Dominic Rhodes, Cris Carter loves…Edgerrin James? Not so much…I guess.

3. Miami is the beast of the East.

Oh, really?

My only concern about the Miami Dolphins is the running game.
So, Cris Carter is only concerned with the running game down in Miami? Not a lick of concern about the defense getting a bit older and being good still, but maybe having lost a step? Not concerned that Nick Saban is such a pansy that he can’t run onto a football field to get the attention of the officials? Not concerned about…wait for it…wait for it…wait for it…

WHETHER OR NOT DAUNTE CULPEPPER WILL PLAY AWFUL?

Not concerned about that at ALL Cris? Not concerned with how when the goings got tough at the end of the Pittsburgh game Daunte started chucking balls to Steeler defenders? (Carter’s column was written Friday, he mentions the game, so he gets no free pass here.) Oh, but I guess it is OK…

As for anyone saying Daunte Culpepper can’t read zone defenses, they know nothing about football. After playing with him, I can tell you that he’s a smart guy who has no problems reading defenses.
Well, there are two things I’ve never done…one, played football with Daunte Culpepper, and let’s be honest, there’s more of a chance of me seeing Daunte on a sex boat telling the man “yeah, I didn’t think she could do that with that, either, but, broad has got some talents” than there is of me hitting the field with the man. Two, I’ve never said Daunte can’t read zone defenses.

However, I have said that Culpepper is erratic as hell on occasion and panics under pressure. Whether or not he reads the defense is one thing that is completely separate from throwing the football casually into the hands of the defender. I can see when Daunte does that. But, hey, Carter played with the man, so I guess he gives Daunte a free pass?

Some of these antics have been funny. I thought the Sharpie incident with Terrell Owens was kind of comical, clever.
As did I.

On the flip side, what he did with the Dallas Cowboys star was uncalled for. I had never seen anything like that. It goes against everything that the National Football League is supposed to stand for. T.O. took it too far. That incident and the Joe Horn cell phone fiasco were ridiculous.

And that’s the problem: People such as Joe Horn are trying to prop themselves up. They’re not in the same class as Terrell Owens, Randy Moss or Chad Johnson, so they have to do stuff to keep up.

Well, Joe Horn certainly is not in the same class as those receivers, but to say that one set of receivers can be comical and have fun on the field and another set can’t just because of a factor like that is a bit silly. Either they can catch a piece of the creative spotlight when their number comes or they can’t. What’s the point of a double standard? What would Cris Carter’s thoughts be on if, hypothetically, a malt shoppe in Alabama had a bathroom for only white customers that was rather clean and a real dirty, grungy, disgusting bathroom for their black customers? Would Carter be down for that also?

Chicago’s defense definitely will make it competitive, but how many dominating defenses do you see overcome a bad offense to make the Super Bowl? The Ravens? The first year the Patriots won the Super Bowl? The Bears have even less offense than Baltimore did that year.

Yeah. The Ravens. The Patriots the first year. Probably some more. Didn’t Tampa Bay drop the Raiders in that big OFFENSE V. DEFENSE Super Bowl? The Bucs weren’t the juggernaut offense. The Bears have more offense than Baltimore had that year, by the way, but, Carter’s point gets even better. By better, I mean hilarious for us, awful if you happen to take Cris seriously.

5. The Bears have no bite.

There are a few teams you can label as being the league’s most overrated, but I definitely have to go with the Chicago Bears.

Well, they’re probably going to be a playoff team and if their offense does anything, will have a chance to make some sort of run in the playoffs. First off, don’t teams have to be rated fairly high to be overrated? I mean, the Bears are picked by many to win the division, but, I’m not sure if Cris Carter has noticed, but the three other teams in the division are the Vikings, Packers, and, oh yeah, the Lions. Who the hell is NOT going to pick the Bears to win the division? Then, once you get to that point, the Bears have a defense that will give them a shot to win ballgames. So, exactly where is rating the Bears as a playoff team with a chance to make a run overrating them?

To top this off, after the games are played he heaps a ton of praise upon the Lions defense, and he should, BUT, he includes this…

Anytime you go out there and hold someone to nine points, you know you have a great shot to win. To go out there and hold an offense like Seattle’s to three field goals was impressive.
And the Bears defense has a shot in ANY game, to turn out a performance that Carter says gives a team a “great shot to win”. But, yet, they’re overrated because people are forecasting them to do exactly that?

Sounds like people are realistically forecasting the Bears.

Reading this stuff makes you wonder whether Carter really did recover from that alcoholism that led to Buddy Ryan cutting him all those years ago. Maybe he just worked on the whole concealment thing a bit more.

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7 comments
  1. wow, I don’t know what the hell I did to ping this shit back.

  2. Ali said:

    Why ,
    are you so quick to put T.O. down when your pass was worst than his and i don’t see nobody reporting on shockey yelling on the side line ( white player ) little Manning(white player) refusing to go to S.D. without playing one pro down can you imagzine Bush refusing N.O. and how your white press would have coverd it
    it seems as long is a black player keep his mouth close its ok
    but if he stands up for his self ( salary ) he will be condemnd and not one black media guy will stand up on air for him

    No forgivness

  3. I think I’ve easily ripped Shockey and Eli more times than I’ve ripped Terrell Owens. The blog isn’t that old and TO was more pertinent during this time period, but uh, as for the rest of the white press…can’t really speak on their behalf. But as for the other part, wanting more money and not honoring a contract is standing up for ones self? Please.

  4. Ali said:

    Football is a business first its only a sport for fans
    and all business deal with contracts and like your job.
    and show me what you wrote about shockey and Eli

  5. I’m pretty sure the man said the Blog isn’t that old, meaning that when Shockey and Eli were going at it on the sideline we weren’t writing about this shit. Yes, football is a business first, but who in their right mind thinks that acting like a child is the appropriate way to handle your business other than professional athletes and actors. It shows an utter lack of education AND common sense to think “hey maybe if I whine about how much I’m paid, someone else will want to pay me more.” You see a lot of attorneys throwing fits when they only get slightly more than their colleague. Hell no, and that’s basically what T.O. is doing. You don’t see that anywhere else because in the real business world that shit gets your ass canned. With T.O., and I feel bad for him in a way, it’s nothing more than overcompensating for his emotional issues through his delusions of grandeur. Is he a good receiver, of course. Is he worth the shit storm that accompanies him. . . absolutely not. How often does someone have to prove they are irresponsible with what they are given, before they aren’t given anymore? Hopefully Dallas cuts his ass and he ends up in the damn CFL running back punts. But since professional sports don’t work like any other business he’ll continue to catch passes and whine his ass off because really, that’s all he’s got.  Oh and I was going to make fun of your grammar and diction, but I wanted to check and see if English was your first language or not, so could you let me know?

  6. Believe me, if you want to see me rip on Shockey and Eli, just stick around. It’s bound to happen at some point.

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