Looks like at this point the appropriate answer is back at his home. Unless you are kicking it in a cave going through Osama’s belongings and trying to make sense of an Arabic will, you’ve probably heard that Terrell Owens tried to kill himself last night by overdosing on pain medication. Doug has already weighed in on the similarities between T.O. and the Cardinals, but for me the main difference is that if the Cardinals do die and don’t make the playoffs I’ll be ecstatic, but if T.O. dies my life will probably be effected in no significant manner. But in the interest of playing both sides of the issue I’m going to offer a completely plausible explanation for T.O.’s hospital trip other than him trying to kill himself. It’s probably not what actually happened, but if ESPN can speculate out their asses why can’t I?
So the basic premise laid out there now is as follows: Etheredge (T.O.’s publicist) was concerened about T.O., called the paramedics, told them he had taken 5 pills previously out of forty total, the prescription was now empty, she saw him take two pain pills, tried to stop him, the paramedics called the police in, T.O. responded to questioning that he was depressed and tried to hurt himself. That’s basically what I got out of the police report and statements from various media outlets.
Now I’m certainly not saying what I’m about to describe is what actually happened, but Etheredge should take notice because this might be as good a cover story as they are going to come up with. Ok, they have already come out and said that Owens was hospitalized due to a reaction between the pain killers and some supplements he was taking; good start. Now we have to explain some things. First, why was T.O. saying he’s depressed and that he was trying to hurt himself. Easy, the pain medicine and the supplements were reacting making him groggy and out of it. . . the whole reason Etheredge was concerned about T.O. in the first place.
Now we have the empty prescription bottle. Earlier in the week Parcells in a press conference said that the pain killers T.O. was taking were making him nausea. Perfect, so T.O., wanting to be able to work out in stay in game shape went back to his doctor to try a different pain medication that wouldn’t negatively affect his stomach. The doctor gave him a new prescription and told him to dump the rest of the old one down the toilet. This also helps to explain why T.O. was witnessed taking two pills by Etheredge, because it would be easy to see that the old prescription was for two pills at a time, and the new prescription was for one pill. So if T.O. was following the old prescription with the new pills of course it will look like an overdose when in fact he was merely mistakenly following doctor’s orders that weren’t suited for this particular medication.
Now that they have established that T.O. did in fact take too much medication, along with the previous reactions that creates a perfect explanation for why he would respond affirmatively to questions such as “Were you trying to hurt yourself?” He was obviously out of it enough to need rapid medical attention, so is it hard to believe he wouldn’t fully understand questions being posed to him? Of course not; patients on certain levels of pain medicine aren’t deemed competent enough to make decisions on their own health care so we recognize the detrimental effect pain medicine has on our cognitive abilities.
Obviously the T.O. team is going to have to get some doctors in on this one, but that shouldn’t be that hard really. They phoney up an old prescription, a new prescription and talk about some confusion on the dosing levels and this all goes from the “T.O. is a mental case trying to kill himself” to “T.O. made a mistake anyone of us could have and this all got blown up because he’s T.O.” This wouldn’t even be close to the biggest cover up that’s happend in Dallas, trust me Oliver Stone would love to tell you about the cast of thousands that helped kill the President and how none of them have ever talked. Hell, Jerry Jones was probably in on that too, so at least he has experience.
Like I’ve said a couple of times, this is in all likelihood NOT what happened. Does that really matter? Of course not. COULD this have happened this way? Yeah, sure if you believe in suspension of disbelief . . . but really everything that I said is at least PLAUSIBLE, and its not like T.O. has to convince a court of law he didn’t try to commit suicide, he only has to convince the American public. And we all know how easy people have made that look over the years. So don’t be surprised if you see this, or an even more outlandish explanation offered by the T.O. camp, and just rememeber that it really doesn’t matter when you think about it.