What the hell…

Are they doing with baseball hats these days?

what the hell

They have GPS hats. In six different colors. They have hats with dog tags on them. They have various models inspired, I’m sure, by the latest Jay-Z or Lil Fizz music video. They’ve got a model called “Head of State” that puts the team logo in the middle of an outline of the state. I’m really just waiting until I see the team logo in the middle of a sketch of a dead body. I’m actually surprised they don’t have that, I mean, they have something called “durty” denim. Like eight color schemes for all of these. SOME OF THESE COST FORTY DOLLARS.

There is one called MLB tat. “MLB Gettin'” is the name of a hat. Most of these things literally look like someone got shot in a nightclub, MLB took the shirt off of the deadbody and designed a hat out of it.

I know some moron decided a few years back that off-brand coloring on ballcaps was apparently a GOOD idea, but didn’t we collectively send that dude a memo telling him to go the hell away? We didn’t. We ignored that dude and just laughed at him. We watched him in his hip hop videos and we made jokes. It’s too late now. We’re not returning from these depths. This is why we should open fire on North Korea. Yes, Testin’ a nuke is like the off brand hats. You don’t stop this bullshit now, it’s just going to spiral out of control.

  1. This might be the stupidest idea ever. Are you kidding me, GPS hat with just maps on it?

    Shit would be badass if it was actual GPS with a screen on the button of the beak or if they made it mockery. Like have some shit that was there but is burned down like Andre Rison’s house.

    To heck with worrying about North Korea, U.S. companies like this will take care of killing America before the Koreans.

  2. Just for the record I want to say how proud I am that while there is a GPS hat for the Chicago White Sox, these companies recognize that Cubs fans aren’t ghetto enough to even consider buying this bullshit. Besides even if a Cubs fan couldn’t find Wrigley, which is EXTREMELY unlikely, all you have to do is look up Jake Blues in the phone book.

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