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Unneccessary bullshit

Editor’s Note: This is the third time I’m writing this damn Editor’s Note, so I’ll get straight to the point, our buddy Shawn wanted a column gig here, so we gave him the OPPORTUNITY OF A LIFETIME…a chance…to liveblog…Dancing with the stars.

We aren’t quite sure how he knows that this is season three of Dancing with the stars, but uh, hopefully that means he did research, right?
Well, this is the preview for the “Hit” Dancing with the Stars t.v. series. This will be a comical analysis of what happends during the show, I hope the readers enjoy the column and keep coming back to see what they missed.

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Apparently the San Francisco Chronicle reported the following today:

That ticked off receiver Jerry Porter was on the sidelines laughing and pumping his fist when Aaron Brooks was sacked for the seventh time in Monday Nights, expected, debacle.

Porter decided that the best approach to this situation was to, well, dispute the story.

“The San Francisco Chronicle report was not true,” Porter told some ESPN talking head. But, it gets better…”I wasn’t even paying attention to the game. The fist-pumping was in response to some fans that were talking to me when I was sitting on the sidelines.”
Good man, that Jerry Porter. He wasn’t throwing his man Aaron Brooks under the bus, he was openly not giving a fuck.

The New York Islanders apparently just signed goalie Rick Dipietro a FIFTEEN year contract. As Tom Jackson would say, if this were on NFL Gameday on ESPN, someone in the Islanders organization is “retarded”.

First off, when I informed Doherty of this, he presented a very good question, will the NHL even be around in fifteen years? More to the point, though, WHY DO YOU GIVE A GOALIE A 15 YEAR CONTRACT? I’m going to assume that there is NO WAY they can have guaranteed contracts in the NHL…oh, wait…they do have guarantees, so the team WILL be paying this one out for 15 years?

Now, hey, if Dipietro plays for 15 years, well, this is a great contract for the Islanders. They will overpay now and save money long term. The chances of Dipietro playing for 15 years? Ridiculously low. So, 7 years from now, they may wake up and realize that they need to keep this guy until he is FORTY, pay him and they can’t trade him. Yeah, very easily could be a bad deal. On Dipietro’s end, however, the man is really smart.

Here’s to hoping this will be the last hockey article on this blog, ever.

This is the first installment of a semi-regular feature here at Joboo. Periodically we’ll be checking in on everyone’s favorite common sense challenged forecaster, the Champ, and update everyone on how his predictions are looking. We know he tries to go out there for making these predictions, and for the interest of keeping the comedy flowing we’ll try not to be too harsh on the boy. If you’re interested in seeing how his first week of predictions are shaping up click that handy read more link. Read More

Okay, its time for the debut of my Thursday prediction column. Get ready to jump out of your chairs and ask “who is this guy, and what is he thinking?”. Well I am the Champ, and, as I mentioned yesterday, I am not afraid to go out on a limb to support an athlete or team those folks from ESPN or NBC simply don’t have the balls to support on the air. If you take issue with my predictions, feel free to duke it out in the comments section, and I’ll be more than happy to respond. I present them in no particular order, as I have full faith that each of the five are as respectful and legitimate as the rest of them. Without further ado, I present to you this week’s 5 bold predictions:

 

1) Kurt Warner to pass for 5,000 yards if he can avoid injury

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Apparently college football games need to be shortened. This hadn’t exactly dawned on me, but it was such a prevalent concern of the folks who create rules in college football that they made two game shortening moves.

One is fairly run of the mill (clock starting when the ball is kicked off, not caught and returned), the other, however, has the chance to completely change the game of college football, and in no way for the better. This rule is the one that starts the clock at the change of possession. For those of you who maybe missed it in action this weekend, that literally does mean that when you punt the ball to the other team, the ref is going to mark the ball and wind his arm to start the clock. It’s completely nutty and uncalled for.
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