Archive

Monthly Archives: June 2013

Twitter is fired up about the arrest of Aaron Hernandez in the murder of some dude who was in a rented vehicle with him at some point the same night that the guy died. Rumor is Hernandez might be arrested. Wondering what that might look like? Wonder no more, Joboo is back to break it down:

Mike Breen: Welcome everyone to Game 7 of the NBA Finals!

Jeff Van Gundy: You know, Mike, we should be in store for…

INTERRUPTED!

Mike Wilbon: Sorry to interrupt guys, but, back here in the studio, we have to take a look at a developing story in the sports world.

(pictures then show an SUV slowly moving down a highway. There are police cars following).

Mike Wilbon: The situation in New England has taken a turn for the worse. Patriots Tight End Aaron Hernandez, we’ve spoken about him all week. The police would like to speak with him regarding the death of a person who he may know. And, now, this.

Bill Simmons: Could not ask for a better night to have an NBA player lead someone on a low speed chase! When we’re running the 30 for 30 series on this night, I’m going to definitely have to check the availability of Tom Hanks, or, at least, Colin Hanks, to portray my role. I plan on being at the forefront of this, Wilbon. Along with the Doc Rivers trade to the Celtics.

Jalen Rose: You’re going to get an actor to play you in a documentary?

Bill Simmons: I don’t see why not. It worked for Scandalmakers and their coverage of the Bluth family.

Wilbon: In any event, we’re going to have to keep you posted of these developments throughout the evening. ESPNBoston is of course on top of this, but, we assume we will provide most of our information to you about this matter via people overreacting and making shit up on Twitter.

Bill Simmons: And, @Grantlandlive! Where we’ll have someone comparing the highway overpass crowd banners from this chase to the banners in ’94 as well as someone that will spend at least 750 words to explain about how he believes the chase is incredible, but, that the speed was a bit underwhelming!

Jalen Rose: As well as a writer to explain how tonight’s events remind them of certain episodes of Saved by the Bell.

Simmons: The College Years. Read More

Advertisements