John L. Smith, your bus out of East Lansing is gassed up and ready to go. . .

OK, the Notre Dame loss was bad, one of the worst things I’ve seen on a football field, but to follow it up with a home loss to ILLINOIS? I wish I was kidding, but unfortunately when I predicted that the Spartans’ season was over after falling apart in the Notre Dame game it appears I was 100% correct. To put this loss in perspective I’m going to give you a stat from the Illinois-Rutgers game earlier in the year. In that game Illinois was shut out, but even worse, they never made it across the 50 yard line into Rutgers territory. Now I know that Rutgers is much better than Rutgers is usually, but I’ve never heard of a Big Ten team not making it into enemy territory the ENTIRE GAME. So that should tell you how not good Illinois really is. Click the read more if you want to find out how bad the Michigan State Spartans really are.

Stone Cold Locks of the Week (3-6)

As NBA Jams would say “He’s Heating Up.”

1) Minnesota over Buffalo. Minnesota is getting 1
I know a home team gets a few points, but we are still talking about the Bills. I home team usually gets about 3 points for being at home, but it isn’t even snowing in Buffalo yet. Minnesota just barely lost to Chicago, and are apparently a good team with this new offensive line. Buffalo is not as bad as everyone expected, but I think they are a few years behind the Vikings.

2) Cincinnati over the Pats. Pats are getting 6
I am going to continue to ride the Cincinnati wagon even though I dislike them because I am constantly killed by Carson Palmer in my fantasy football leagues. but, i mean they just went into Pit and beat them by 8, and I would have to think the Steelers are better than the Patriots, especially after the horible display at home on a Monday Night game.

3)Wisconsin over Indiana. Indiana is getting 11
I hate picking college teams because they seem to be so unreliable from week to week, but I like this line. The Badgers will rebound after a tough lost in Michigan and will stomp on Indiana.

The Champ is a day late, but certainly not a dollar short

Okay, so I took some heat on last week’s column with the whole high school football and Nascar thing. I was pretty much told that I am never allowed to talk about high school football or Nascar ever again on Joboo. Because of those two predictions last week, and because of the fact that my column is a day late, I am pleasuring the readers with 7 bold predictions this week instead of the traditional five.

            This week’s bold predictions deal with forecasting the MLB playoffs. Why is this bold, you might ask? Well I have two answers to that. 1) the playoff matchups haven’t even been set yet, and 2) I have the Tigers winning the World Series. Hopefully that is BOLD enough for you. Without further ado,

 

Dallas Police: Who the hell are you, T.O.?

The Dallas Police Association fired back today to the press conference held by Terrell Owens and his publicist, Kim Etheridge.

“The officers reacted because they were called to this location to do this job. Now they’re being put under a microscope by some fancy little football person,” Senior Cpl. Glenn White said. “Give me a break. Those officers are 10 times better than this man. … We police officers don’t go out to these calls and make stuff up.”

So, Owens didn’t go St. Louis Cardinals on us…

He just has the dumbest publicist in the World…at the very least.

So, if what Owens says at his press conference is true (he didn’t try to kill himself, had the other pills in drawers, etc.) and I have no reason to doubt Owens, then basically his publicist blew this entire thing out of proportion. Honestly, I can’t blame her, it was likely a rapid situation and she likely had no clue what is going on.

However, she is saying that Owens didn’t say the depression thing and denying what she said about taking pills out of his mouth. Which is just weird. Essentially, she pinned the thing on police and rescue personnel that took her statement. She decided to not go with the “he was incoherent” route, just the “that definitively didn’t happen” route. Makes no sense. She pinned blame for this situation on who Owens is.

She also said…“he has 25 million reasons not to kill himself”…worst publicist ever. Yeah, the hell with the family people thought he might have left behind, it’s about the dollars.

“CHIRP”- Where You At T.O.?

    Looks like at this point the appropriate answer is back at his home.  Unless you are kicking it in a cave going through Osama’s belongings and trying to make sense of an Arabic will, you’ve probably heard that Terrell Owens tried to kill himself last night by overdosing on pain medication.  Doug has already weighed in on the similarities between T.O. and the Cardinals, but for me the main difference is that if the Cardinals do die and don’t make the playoffs I’ll be ecstatic, but if T.O. dies my life will probably be effected in no significant manner.  But in the interest of playing both sides of the issue I’m going to offer a completely plausible explanation for T.O.’s hospital trip other than him trying to kill himself.  It’s probably not what actually happened, but if ESPN can speculate out their asses why can’t I?

Terrell Owens and the St. Louis Cardinals had something in common last night

A week ago, Terrell Owens just had a finger injury and an ego.

A week ago, the St. Louis Cardinals had an 8 and a half game lead in the NL Central.

Last night, they both decided the hell with that and emerge this morning as a mental whack job and a team with a 1 1/2 game lead.

Terrell Owens attempted general suicide and the Cardinals, well, they’re just not giving a damn about making the playoffs. One of the two drowned their sorrows with 35 pain pills. That, was Owens. The Cardinals just can’t beat anybody right now.

That’s the Gamecocks I Was Expecting

    I was a little caught up in the debacle at Spartan Stadium on Saturday that I’m just now catching up on all the sports happenings from Saturday.  I was pleased to see that my South Carolina Gamecocks put a hurt on the proud Florida Atlantic Owls.  I realize that it is a victory over not a particularly intimidating football team but a 45-6 victory is impressive nonetheless. 

Is it wrong…

That I see this ESPN story about the Washington Nats train derailing and I’m slightly dissapointed that none of them got hurt? I mean, I’m not wishing death for them and I’m not even asking for serious injury. Just temporary headaches or something that Advil isn’t working for. Maybe a wrist sprain or something. I mean, they’re playing the Phillies tonight in the first of a three game series and I need some Phillies wins. This isn’t wrong, is it? Nothing serious, just keep a couple top Nats out of a lineup for a couple days.

That’s not wrong, right? That’s pennant race baseball, right?

As an aside, how long did it take to convince Soriano that they were taking a train back from NY? It was hard enough getting the man to move to Left, I can’t imagine this was easy. Maybe the Bengals should try it, though, you know, get more liquids in them during their travels back home.

WHO DEY?!!?

The Bengals defeated the Pittsburgh Steelers on Sunday afternoon and one of the star’s from the game spent his evening throwing up out of the window of an SUV while pulled over by the Cincinnati police.

WHO DEY?!