So, I’m pretty sure Maurice Clarett caught the trailer for that Mark Wahlberg movie where he tries out for a pro football team. You know, to live his dream and all that. Imagine how bitter Clarett is going to be when Marvin Lewis tells him his efforts weren’t good enough to make the 2006 Cincinnati Bengals.
Multiple guns, Clarett donning a bullet proof vest…is it really that surprising?
A talking head on ESPN, however, revealed that earlier that day Clarett had talked a friend away from suicide. What the hell does that guy have going on his head? Did he find his Cecil Collins’ prison cell and have a heart to heart? Thinking about it though, it actually makes sense. Clarett does need money, one would assume. The way I see it, he can either deal drugs to Ohio State kids, but that involves him walking away and picture those college kids behind the closed door giggling and going “man, that was mothafucking Maurice Clarett!” OR…he can start a suicide Hotline.
1-800-CLA-SAVE
Maurice Clarett: Hello, you’ve reached 1-800-CLA-SAVE, this is Maurice himself, how are things?
Caller: I’m calling a suicide hotline, are you new at this?
MC: Bitch, please. Tell me about your suicide.
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