I was in Miami to interview Dan Majerle when the Tim Hardaway, “I hate gays” news broke. I was there for other reasons. Doing some sort of human interest story on Majerle. Oh, who the hell am I kidding, I knew weeks ago that Tim was going to say these things about the gay community and wanted to be in Miami when the story broke. Interviewing the people who mattered.
Think I’m kidding? I saw this NASCAR thing coming weeks ago. You think people are up in arms about the cheating now? Wait three weeks until Dale Jr. starts to drive around with a fifth wheel. And no roof on his car. And no helmet…with Don Henley’s Building the Perfect Beast album blasting.
Think I don’t know this shit? OK…you might be asking…why aren’t you rich? Well, here’s the thing, how rich do you KNOW I am? Exactly. I purchased Michael Irvin and Joe Buck and they spend time in my mansion, Irvin doing crazy things and Buck commenting about how offended he is. How do you know this is not going down right now? Because Irvin is asleep? Valid point, but it happens. Plus, I’ve got a huge ass fish tank and a shark that swims in it. Ok, these are lies. I don’t bet on the future.
Why? My visions tempt me. I’m not the true chosen one when it comes to seeing the future. Just this morning I saw Gil Meche throwing his hands up in triumph as Tim McCarver talks about the Kansas City Royals winning the World Series. Jay Mariotti on Around the Horn proclaiming Meche to be Sandy Koufax. Saw that. Will it come true? Hell no. Fact is, I see more of that than I do these true visions, but point remains, I knew about this Hardaway hating gay thing a long time. So, I wanted to hear what some folks who played with him had to say. That led me to Miami…and Thunder Dan.
“This is classic Timmy right here,” Majerle told me. “He never wants to let the truth out into the public’s eye. He doesn’t have that same courage that John Amaechi has.”
What the hell was Majerle telling me? I came here to hear stories about how Majerle and Timmy went to the bar and did not quit until they insulted some dude for being effeminate. Elaborate, Dan, elaborate.
“I don’t want to out anybody,” Majerle said. However, I wanted him to out someone, so I slapped him. Or told him it’s OK, no one reads Joboo anyway. He continued, “Tim, we all knew, so when he told us that he was different, no one was surprised. In fact, we were the best wingmen a gay dude could have. You don’t know how many nights that I did my best to string along some young male model only to say, ‘ha, no, I am not gay, but, hey Tim Hardaway is, and he makes more money than I do!’ and they were off. Into the waiting arms of Timmy.”
I ask Joboo to come. Take FEAR from bats. 