How to take a girl’s pants off – A lesson for guys at their next home game involving girls:

You ever wanted a girl to call you? We all have. Sometimes they even do. But then they start calling over and over to the point when you’re like “woman, don’t call here no more.” Then they call again, and you start to lose it. You’re having visions of every shitty teen/horror movie where the chick goes nuts and axes you, and all you can think about now is axing her before she gets to you. And then she calls again.

 

Now imagine you’re sitting at a poker table. Some girl across from you has limped into every hand. After taking a sip off her long island ice tea and talking to her friend for a minute about the Food Network’s show about some chick who went to Italy and lived off of four lira a day for a month, she looks back to the table. You remind her it’s her turn (again), and after placing the long island down, she asks how much it is to call and puts the chips in. You look down to see Big Slick (Ace King for those of you that don’t know, but really, who doesn’t know that?). You decide you need to raise. You raise it up to like five times the big blind. She looks around, puts down the text message she’s typing to her cell phone and says “I call.” “Sweet,” you think. You think. The flop comes down Queen, Seven, Deuce. She checks. You bet. A lot. She looks at her cards, flashes em to her friends, and says “ok, I call.” You decide she doesn’t have much, and on the turn she checks, so you move all-in. She calls right away and shows King Seven offsuit. You lose. In this scenario is the cold dead reality about playing with girls. I’ve seen it more times than I care to remember. Dudes overbet against girls who can’t even deal the game they’re playing in. In short, girls, for the most part, are flat out terrible at poker.