Dudes tryin’ to kill themselves because they are dumb

I hope Donovan slaps T.O. in the face this Sunday. Get the ejection, let Jeff Garcia beat Owens.

In case you don’t know, T.O. is good at this whole Internet thing. By that, I do mean that he has a MYSPACE and types plz and u, and all kinds of badass abbreviations. He’s 32 years old. He has a message board, with an ask T.O. section. Of course he’s had a ton of questions the past couple weeks. So, he got this one (question bold, TOs answer in italics)

QUOTE(general @ Oct 4 2006, 07:21 PM) *

mcnabb seemed to reach out to you after the misunderstanding last week…..did you get the text message, and how does he have your phone number….i’m sure you have a new one from your days in Philly…he even said he would give you a high five or chest bump……do you see that happenning on sunday??


At some point, you would think his publicist would get him some tutorials on the CAPS LOCK key, but I guess she’s too busy etching “BROOKS WAS HERE…SO WZ TO!” into a ceiling somewhere.

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The Dallas Police Association fired back today to the press conference held by Terrell Owens and his publicist, Kim Etheridge.

“The officers reacted because they were called to this location to do this job. Now they’re being put under a microscope by some fancy little football person,” Senior Cpl. Glenn White said. “Give me a break. Those officers are 10 times better than this man. … We police officers don’t go out to these calls and make stuff up.”

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    Looks like at this point the appropriate answer is back at his home.  Unless you are kicking it in a cave going through Osama’s belongings and trying to make sense of an Arabic will, you’ve probably heard that Terrell Owens tried to kill himself last night by overdosing on pain medication.  Doug has already weighed in on the similarities between T.O. and the Cardinals, but for me the main difference is that if the Cardinals do die and don’t make the playoffs I’ll be ecstatic, but if T.O. dies my life will probably be effected in no significant manner.  But in the interest of playing both sides of the issue I’m going to offer a completely plausible explanation for T.O.’s hospital trip other than him trying to kill himself.  It’s probably not what actually happened, but if ESPN can speculate out their asses why can’t I? Read More

A week ago, Terrell Owens just had a finger injury and an ego.

A week ago, the St. Louis Cardinals had an 8 and a half game lead in the NL Central.

Last night, they both decided the hell with that and emerge this morning as a mental whack job and a team with a 1 1/2 game lead.

Terrell Owens attempted general suicide and the Cardinals, well, they’re just not giving a damn about making the playoffs. One of the two drowned their sorrows with 35 pain pills. That, was Owens. The Cardinals just can’t beat anybody right now.

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