Is DMX really the dude we want Boxing George Zimmerman?

On paper, DMX is a great candidate for facing George Zimmerman in a boxing match. Call me skeptical that this is what we want to see, however.

George Zimmerman may possibly face DMX in a Celebrity Boxing Match at some point in March, according to CNN. Presumably, the most tense moment of the encounter will be when the ref does the customary boxing pat down as they enter the ring. Normally, a moment that just feels awkward, but, given Zimmerman’s history, you never know where the ref is going to find a Ruger.

Here’s the thing, I’m a bit worried about DMX.

There hasn’t been a more politically charged boxing exhibition in this country since Apollo Creed vs. Ivan Drago. Unfortunately, we know how that turned out. I don’t want to compare Zimmerman to Drago, I can’t imagine Zimmerman would be near as impressive in punching those machines the Soviets used to gauge punching power. But, let’s be honest, if you were going to bet this fight today (and of course you’re going to bet this fight), wouldn’t you lean towards taking Zimmerman?

Premier League Review…with some Comparisons to The Wire…

NBC Sports seems to be doing a solid job so far in promoting the English Premier League. You’ve likely seen the Jason Sudeikis spot as Tottenham coach Ted Lasso. In addition to that, their main philosophy in promoting the sport seems to be by saying, “Yup, it IS ok to get drunk before 11am. Do it. Seriously. Fuckin’ do it.”

That solid promotion took a snag today when they tweeted out this picture:

Which was like 2 steps forward, 965 steps back. Seriously, save that graphic for hockey, because I have no idea how many points an overtime loss is worth. But, it’s kind of straight forward when it comes to soccer.

So, here now, some kind of preview of Premier League 2013-2014. Because, damn, that NBC Sports graphic is NOT cutting it. I’ll cover every team, and make some comparisons to The Wire, because, why the hell not.

Soccer time y’all!

NBC Sports seems to be doing a solid job so far in promoting the English Premier League. You’ve likely seen the Jason Sudeikis spot as Tottenham coach Ted Lasso. In addition to that, their main philosophy in promoting the sport seems to be by saying, “Yup, it IS ok to get drunk before 11am. Do it. Seriously. Fuckin’ do it.”

That solid promotion took a snag today when they tweeted out this picture:

https://twitter.com/NBCSportsSoccer/status/367365046197706752/photo/1

Which was like 2 steps forward, 965 steps back. Seriously, save that graphic for hockey, because I have no idea how many points an overtime loss is worth. But, it’s kind of straight forward when it comes to soccer.

So, here now, some kind of preview of Premier League 2013-2014. Because, damn, that NBC Sports graphic is NOT cutting it. I’ll cover every team, and make some comparisons to The Wire, because, why the hell not.

So, what might the Aaron Hernandez arrest look like?

Twitter is fired up about the arrest of Aaron Hernandez in the murder of some dude who was in a rented vehicle with him at some point the same night that the guy died. Rumor is Hernandez might be arrested. Wondering what that might look like? Wonder no more, Joboo is back to break it down:

Mike Breen: Welcome everyone to Game 7 of the NBA Finals!

Jeff Van Gundy: You know, Mike, we should be in store for…

INTERRUPTED!

Mike Wilbon: Sorry to interrupt guys, but, back here in the studio, we have to take a look at a developing story in the sports world.

(pictures then show an SUV slowly moving down a highway. There are police cars following).

Mike Wilbon: The situation in New England has taken a turn for the worse. Patriots Tight End Aaron Hernandez, we’ve spoken about him all week. The police would like to speak with him regarding the death of a person who he may know. And, now, this.

Bill Simmons: Could not ask for a better night to have an NBA player lead someone on a low speed chase! When we’re running the 30 for 30 series on this night, I’m going to definitely have to check the availability of Tom Hanks, or, at least, Colin Hanks, to portray my role. I plan on being at the forefront of this, Wilbon. Along with the Doc Rivers trade to the Celtics.

Jalen Rose: You’re going to get an actor to play you in a documentary?

Bill Simmons: I don’t see why not. It worked for Scandalmakers and their coverage of the Bluth family.

Wilbon: In any event, we’re going to have to keep you posted of these developments throughout the evening. ESPNBoston is of course on top of this, but, we assume we will provide most of our information to you about this matter via people overreacting and making shit up on Twitter.

Bill Simmons: And, @Grantlandlive! Where we’ll have someone comparing the highway overpass crowd banners from this chase to the banners in ’94 as well as someone that will spend at least 750 words to explain about how he believes the chase is incredible, but, that the speed was a bit underwhelming!

Jalen Rose: As well as a writer to explain how tonight’s events remind them of certain episodes of Saved by the Bell.

Simmons: The College Years.

Champ’s expert analysis on the Extravaganza

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Champ has been asked to return to provide some “expert” forecasting insight into the Ron Mexico Celebrity Dogfighting Extravaganza. I must also take this opportunity to give my namesake and credentials a quick plug. For those who don’t know me, or why I call myself “the Champ” it all started as a poker thing. My poker track record had gone rather south between the nickname creation and now, and some began to question the validity of me in fact being “the Champ”. However, I recently completed two impressive tournament runs placing 2^nd out of 85, and 13^th out of 100 a week later. So, cutting to the bottom line of this self-plug, all that I guess I can really say is that I am in fact the Champ.

The Champ is making a guest appearance, catch him while you can.

In between those pesky law school finals and some intense school board campaigning, I have decided to duck in for a quick bold prediction.

After all, I am hot as can be after predicting the Warriors to win before the series even started (albiet on another site instead of on Joboo) Although it must be noted I called them winning in 7, and they actually did it in 6, so even the Champ underestimated those Warriors.

Got Pistons and Wings playoff games today, a Nascar Night race, some De La Hoya v. Mayweather bout that is getting hyped up way too much, and of course a horse race.

I’ll take the home teams (Wings and Pistons), Jimmie Johnson, De La Hoya, and last, but certainly not least………….

HARD SPUN (16 to 1 as of Joboo press time)

That is all, I’m out.

Why do Bloggers hate ESPN?

When we started this blog a couple months ago I anticipated a lot of blogs including remarks about various lameass things ESPN has done or is in the process of doing. I haven’t really liked ESPN for a while now, but put up with the bullshit because it is necessary. I do not want to watch Sean Salisbury analyze football. I don’t like anyone on that network for basketball, aside from the unintentional comedy of Stacey Dales Schuman calling a red-shirt freshman a sophomore that is in his first year of basketball. The NFL Network has helped me rid myself of ESPNs awful football coverage, but I’m stuck with them for basketball. Baseball, well, I like what ESPN provides more often than not.

With eBay ESPN, they have a lame slate of writers and an overload of Insider articles. Their Fantasy Football layout is horrible compared to Yahoo and, well, OK…we all know there are flaws with what ESPN provides, but they still do this sports thing more than everyone, so when talking sports, people are inevitably going to talk about the bad moments.

But, I’m finding it more and more difficult to rip on ESPN lately. It’s just not fun anymore. Too many people consistently rip ESPN for things that they probably should not be ripped for that it takes the fun out of it for everyone else. Deadspin, great site, but, uh, ripping ESPN for giving employees a coupon for a free drink or meal after ESPN set some MNF ratings record that they’ll break again within two years?  The Bill Simmons bashing bandied about the internet recently has been a bit of overkill, as well. Today, I think Yaysports brings things to a new level, however.

Former Eagles Safety Andre Waters, dies, at 44

I’m writing about Andre Waters today despite knowing that most people generally will not give a damn or care that he committed suicide. The hell with it, though, Waters was my favorite Eagle growing up. He had the nickname “Dirty”, because, uh, well, if Rich Gannon’s giving any interviews today, he might mention something about that.

Redskins fans hate Andre Waters. Waters was a part of the “Body-Bag” game in 1990 against the Redskins where 5 Skins left on stretchers, 9 Skins left the game overall including two QBs. Running back Brian Mitchell finished the game at quarterback. Waters ran his mouth a bit afterwards and Skins fans DO NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT. I also think he took a run at a Redskins placekicker after a PAT one year and ended his career. Waters, along with Wes Hopkins, lit up the Houston Oilers one Monday Night the next season. They called that game “The House of Pain Game”. The Oilers game in with those finesse wide receivers and proceeded to get them jacked up.

I don’t know what it will say on Waters’ tombstone. But, “he hit suckaz. hard. made them mumble” would be my choice.

Bo Schembechler dying might really tick off some Rutgers fans

Rutgers, if they finish undefeated, should go to the National Title game. They should, but this whole REMATCH stuff between Ohio State and Michigan might really throw a wrench into those plans. First off, I’m not entirely sure Rutgers will go undefeated, but, a one loss SEC school? They should play the winner of this Michigan/Ohio State game.

I’m so tired of the Michigan/Ohio State rematch stuff. Mainly because I’m not convinced about how good Michigan is just yet. In my mind, Michigan NEEDS this win, needs this game to show how good they are. If you over value Wisconsin, if you value Notre Dame like the pollsters do, then you might think Michigan is already at the highest level. They aren’t.

Schembechler dying? Well, that takes things to a whole different level.

the Champ rocks Sam’s Club Business-Membership style

Well, friends, Joboo has hit new territory this week. Joboo has reached the promise land. What was the monumental event that sparked this? I suspected you might ask. The Champ is a proud holder of a Joboo Sam’s Club Business Membership. That’s right. When all those other poor folks have to wait until 10 am to enter Sam’s, the Champ can stroll right in there at 7a.m. and not mess around with those lines. And it’s all because of my hard work and dedication here at Joboo. So, it’s time for some more hard work and dedication:

 

Bold Prediction #1: The Wolverines Upset the Buckeyes Saturday