Port Security on lock

You ever wanted a girl to call you? We all have. Sometimes they even do. But then they start calling over and over to the point when you’re like “woman, don’t call here no more.” Then they call again, and you start to lose it. You’re having visions of every shitty teen/horror movie where the chick goes nuts and axes you, and all you can think about now is axing her before she gets to you. And then she calls again.


Now imagine you’re sitting at a poker table. Some girl across from you has limped into every hand. After taking a sip off her long island ice tea and talking to her friend for a minute about the Food Network’s show about some chick who went to Italy and lived off of four lira a day for a month, she looks back to the table. You remind her it’s her turn (again), and after placing the long island down, she asks how much it is to call and puts the chips in. You look down to see Big Slick (Ace King for those of you that don’t know, but really, who doesn’t know that?). You decide you need to raise. You raise it up to like five times the big blind. She looks around, puts down the text message she’s typing to her cell phone and says “I call.” “Sweet,” you think. You think. The flop comes down Queen, Seven, Deuce. She checks. You bet. A lot. She looks at her cards, flashes em to her friends, and says “ok, I call.” You decide she doesn’t have much, and on the turn she checks, so you move all-in. She calls right away and shows King Seven offsuit. You lose. In this scenario is the cold dead reality about playing with girls. I’ve seen it more times than I care to remember. Dudes overbet against girls who can’t even deal the game they’re playing in. In short, girls, for the most part, are flat out terrible at poker. Read More

We debuted a new author here at Joboo yesterday, he’s going to be checking in weekly with some takes on poker. Maybe advice, I’m not really sure. Just watch out for this cat if you ever run into him playing in a game for no money. Cutthroat as hell. His debut column was about the new Port Security Bill, that included some legislation that extended 1961s wire act to the current days of the Internet.

In a statement released by, the internet gaming giant (as seen on ESPN’s WSOP coverage) attempted to convince users that, at worst, they wouldn’t lose any earnings they currently possess. At best, they’re going to fight this thing and hope to avoid shutting down. Including in the statement:

“As poker is a game of skill rather than pure chance, we hope that it will not be affected by this new bill.”

This is precisely why I favor the new bill. A bit of a tale and then some analysis below the fold.

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