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Mike Vick

Surry County officials had secured a search warrant in late May based on an informant’s information to look for as many as 30 dog carcasses buried on the property.

That property, as you all well know, belongs to Michael Vick. It means only one thing.

Welcome to the 2007 Michael Vick Celebrity Dogfighting Extravaganza

Your hosts: Gus Johnson, Michael Vick, and a rotating cast of color commentators.

Gus Johnson: WELCOME EVERYONE TO SOME TOWN NESTLED MAJESTICALLY IN THE PAINTED FORESTS OF THE GREAT STATE OF VIRGINIA. Hello everyone this is GUS JOHNSON coming to you live from a small barn type building painted JET BLACK for the occasion and Michael why don’t you tell the folks what that occasion is!

Mike Vick: Ha, well, dog, what we have today is the opening round in the first, hopefully, annual Michael Vick Celebrity Dogfighting Extravaganza. Shit, pretty damn awesome we got a guy like you here Gus, but I’m not sure about why we have Braves baseball announcer Chip Caray here…

Chip Caray: Michael, Gus, glad we are here on what is definitely a gorgeous day for dogfighting.

Mike Vick: Pouring down rain and motherfuckers with a lot of cash money, yes, I would say this shit is pristine for dogfights.

Gus Johnson: Well, let’s not waste any more time, let’s get to the first contest of the evening. In the pit first we have an all time LEGEND. You know this dog from the comic strip PEANUTS. Folks, he is Charlie Brown’s pet BEAGLE. Ladies and Gentlemen, a 10 seed from the Marcus bracket…Snoopy!

Chip Caray: And while we await the entrance of Snoopy, let’s mention those brackets and how this field will work. We have two brackets and thirty-two competitors. Seeded 1 through 16 in two brackets. The Marcus bracket and the Ron Mexico bracket.

Gus Johnson: LOOK AT THIS FOLKS! LOOK AT THE ENTRANCE OF SNOOPY, THE 10 SEED, THE UNDERDOG IN THIS OPENING CONTEST…he is coming out on top the doghouse transitioned to become a Sopwith Camel! The World War I fighter aircraft! He has on the goggles and the scarf!

Chip Caray: Interesting choice by Snoopy in this bout to come out with the WW1 fighter pilot attire. Where is his focus? Is it on winning this bout or impressing this crowd?

Mike Vick: Well, shit, if he was tryin’ to impress this crowd he would have brought a sack of weed.

Chip Caray: I stand corrected.

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